


Pang

by inkstrain (orphan_account)



Series: (P) [2]
Category: the GazettE
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ducks, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 21:01:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5263466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/inkstrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're not allowed to be without me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pang

He moved his stuffed ducks out of the car and let them take residence in his room, crowded in one big group on the headboard in a flock of yellow faux feathers. Sometimes he awoke with them all over the floor and around him, having knocked them off while moving around during sleep, but more often than not, a bunch of them were encased in his arms while he tried to get a wink, as if he was keeping the fluffy ducklings warm in his embrace. It was the reverse though, if only ducks everywhere knew. 

They were actually the ones keeping him warm instead. 

Akira walked in one night and found him cuddling them, thought it was highly amusing, and had laughed all the way back to his own room. He didn't find it funny at all though, but then again, that was how Kouyou felt about a lot of things lately.

  


_And on a whim one day, he decided to get a piercing. He'd been in town with a hand in his pocket, absently fingering a small ring of silver when he passed by a tattoo parlor. Slowing down before eventually coming to a halt, he backtracked to peek through the glass window of the establishment: no one was inside except a girl behind a sort of receptionist's desk adorned with graffiti, the thing more like a podium where speeches were made than what it was supposed to be._

"That's a lipring, man. It doesn't go there." 

_He stared at his reflection on the round mirror he had been given about ten minutes later, head tilted to the side as he scrutinized his newly pierced ear. Looking up at the artist's words, Kouyou merely shrugged as he stood up, not feeling any less empty._

"I know."

  


Lunch money became gas money when he found himself driving around the city most nights, window open with at least one duck keeping him company (it was a different one each time), buckled safely on the seat beside his. He kept the radio turned on, hushed, his arm resting on the sill as he gritted his teeth at the love songs that crooned from the speakers. Damn Akira to hell for getting the switch button broken - now he couldn't even select a different radio station. But he found himself singing along much to his dismay, the lyrics easy to pick up and the tune of most of them even more so, glancing at his bird companion and eventually speaking to it when a right turn caused it to roll sideward, as if to face him.

"I only need to see him again because he has one of you, that's all." 

His duck friend seemed to be staring straight at him now, and he pushed his eyeglasses up on the bridge of his nose with a defensive expression, turning away from an accusing, glassy stare. 

The car remained silent and lonely, a new love song crooning sweetly just for Kouyou. 

  


_He went back sometimes although never went entered the bar, just stayed in the parking lot and watched as people came and went. He started smoking again too, something he hadn't done since high school, but only out of boredom. The hours from midnight up until the hour he was supposed to wake up to get ready for classes were long after all, and he needed something to do while seated on the driver's seat, waiting for someone who wasn't there._

_But he just never was, and Kouyou was beginning to feel rather hopeless with every dark haired person that wasn't him, chest hollow and gaping and repeatedly saying-_

I want my heart.  
Give it back.

-

  


For all their different appearances, these _conbini_ value meals he'd been buying nearly everyday were starting to taste like each other. Since he was saving up most of his cash for the late-night trips he was yet to make though, he had to make do. He didn't want to ask for more money back home or borrow from Akira just because he was being unreasonable and obsessed, so his only option really was to cut down somewhere. Tuition money wasn't an option, but food definitely was - who cared if these meals were bland and dry? They did their job and kept his stomach filled. 

_Two months and running._

  


The only thing in his mind as he hurried into 7 Eleven was getting the last of the ready-made ham and egg sandwiches from its refrigerated shelf. Quickly grabbing a bottle of chocolate-flavored soy milk that would give him a discount if paired with any sandwich, he headed for the appropriate section, legs like jelly because of hunger. Staying up late and skipping breakfast was never a good idea... turning a corner, he stopped walking and found his breath leaving his lungs in a sharp, surprised whoosh.

_And all his lonely nights felt like they never even happened, like he'd only dreamed them._

As if hearing his exhale of air, the person there, the one holding the only remaining sandwich, turned towards him, and their eyes met across an aisle brimming with cup noodles. Swallowing visibly, Kouyou's gaze eventually traveled downwards, staring in horror at the highschool uniform the other was wearing.

  


"Fuck."

-

  


"Do I really look that young?"

They found themselves sharing a bench in a nearby park with their simple lunches, and he couldn't help but pout slightly at the other's amused and teasing tone as he unwrapped his hotdog sandwich and took a huge bite, trying to appear bored while the other talked on. 

"It's laundry day, and I had no clean clothes left except for my old high school uniform, so don't worry." Yuu nudged him with a shoulder at his lack of a reply, voice as teasing as ever. "Did you really think for a minute there that you had sex with an underage student?" 

Opening his mouth to finally reply, the words wouldn't leave his throat - because Yuu was grinning so widely with his hair pushed back behind his ears, the late afternoon sun cradling the side of his face and brushing the roundness of one pale cheek. And Kouyou couldn't find enough oxygen, not even as he inhaled air into his starved lungs, just like that first time. 

  


_Where were you?_  
"Where's my duck?" He finally managed to ask, finishing his food in just four more bites. And there was a secretive smile on the other's lips as he delicately bit on the corner of his triangle-shaped food before replying, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and taking care to finish chewing before speaking. 

"Uruha's safe and sound, don't worry."

He blinked at the other's words. "Uruha? You named him?" He asked in wonder, watching as Yuu unscrewed his milk tea bottle's cap and take a drink. There was a hole on the lower right part of his lip that his eyes couldn't help but get drawn to, and in response to the sight, Kouyou's ear throbbed with his not-quite healed piercing. 

Yuu tilted his head to the side to look at him, smile sweet, and it made the empty space in Kouyou's chest throb. "He needed a name. Unless he already has one?" And the entire conversation was meaningless but then not so for some absurd reason, tugging a slight smile from his lips as he leaned back, one arm on the bench's back rest with a shake of his head.

"I never named any of them."

There was a pregnant pause, and then Yuu was straightening and leaning back too, back and then sideward against his side until they were touching, the raven's gaze directed upwards to seek out his eyes as he spoke in a soft voice. 

"Would you like some help? I'm free today, we can name them together."

And if saying no had been an option (it wasn't), Kouyou would still have said yes as he looked down at those expectant eyes, nodding slowly and almost dazedly. 

  


_So this is how it feels like, falling under a spell._

-

  


"You should take a shower."

Kouyou shook sopping wet hair away from his face, eyes narrowed into slits as he tried to look at Yuu from a distance and without his glasses. It had rained on their way to his place, and he'd insisted the other use the only umbrella they had, resulting in his current state. Nodding, he opened the door to his bedroom and signalled at him with a hand. 

"Yeah... come in. Sorry it's messy."

He went straight to his dresser and pulled out a fresh shirt, a pair of boxers and some sweatpants, glancing at Yuu who had stopped in the middle of the room, looking at his bed with a grin but not saying anything. Pausing from clothes-sorting, he raised a brow and frowned.

"What is it?" He asked and Yuu turned to him with lips stretched wide in amusement, lifting a hand to point at the residents of his bedroom. "You moved them. Does that mean there aren't any ducks left in your car?"

Flushing and remembering Akira's reaction at finding him surrounded by stuffed toys, he tried to appear unbothered and casual as he shrugged his shoulders, slamming his dresser door shut as he gave a halting reply. "Well, th-they were getting kidnapped. So... so they had to be relocated."

Yuu laughed at that, flopping down the edge of his bed, his eyelashes fluttering as he looked up at him teasingly. "It's not like I'm starving the duck I kidnapped, you know. It even sleeps on the same bed as me and gets cuddled all the time." And he wanted to say, _Uruha's not the only one who needs cuddling,_ but Kouyou wasn't good with pick up lines and decided not to humiliate himself. So he chose not to answer as his cheeks flamed, grabbing the towel draped over the chair tucked under his study desk, huffing a bit.

"I'm still going to get him back from you eventually. Anyway, make yourself comfortable." He glanced behind just before he stepped out the door, to find Yuu following his progress with mischievous eyes. He wondered what that was about, but decided not to ask. "I'll be right back."

Twenty minutes later, he got quite a surprise. 

  


Kouyou paused as soon as he stepped back inside his room refreshed, the first thing to greet his sight a pair of pale, delicate ankles. Breath catching in his throat, his gaze sweeped upward to shapely legs barely covered by the hem of an overly large maroon University sweater, the one he undoubtedly owned and remembered was supposed to be inside his closet instead of on Yuu. He'd probably rummaged around his things while he showered...

_Holy fucking mother of-_

Looking up at him innocently from his position in the middle of the bed with more than ten ducks surrounding him, Yuu stopped fiddling with his smartphone and smiled at Kouyou, pushing himself by his elbows and lower arms, his hair a dark waterfall running down one shoulder in silky strands. 

"You said to make myself comfortable so... that's what I did. Is this okay?"

Gulping audibly, Kouyou's eyes met Yuu's knowing ones, the other aware of where his gaze had been. Cheeks heating up, he couldn't find his voice so he merely nodded, closing the door behind him and taking the time to actually put his towel in a hanger instead of just tossing it somewhere - if only to delay the inevitable which was sitting down and looking at the person occupying the top of his sheets. 

But it didn't really take too long to do such a task and not wanting to risk _anything_ since **that** wasn't the reason he wanted Yuu to be here (it wasn't, honest), he decided to pull the chair in front of his desk and sit there instead of joining the other on the bed. Clearing his throat, he only realized he had been avoiding the other's gaze when he had to meet it again. It was still knowing like earlier, but more than that?

It was warm. 

  


"You're too far from me, Kouyou."

Brown clashed against brown as they stared at each other for a while, his pulse racing as he crossed his arms over his chest and tried to answer. 

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

He instantly regretted the question when he saw Yuu's smile widen first before he was laughing loudly, and the sound made something heavy seep into the spaces between Kouyou's ribs. Having moved to lie on his side at this point and using a hand to prop himself up, the other refused to let his gaze drift elsewhere. 

"Is it working?"

He shrugged before eventually nodding, averting his eyes with an embarrassed huff. "It is. Why do you think I'm all the way here?" But his reply made Yuu frown. "Shouldn't you be jumping at me by now if it was?" And this time, it was Kouyou's turn to laugh as he leaned back on his seat, shaking his head slightly and deciding the hell with it. It was time to be honest. Because he'd had endless nights and torturous weeks to think this through, and he knew what to say. He just had to say them aloud. 

"I think I like you a bit more than you think I do." He admitted, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a finger and with an unsure little smile. "I don't look at you and just want to have sex."

Yuu was smiling again. "What do you want to do with me then?" And he shrugged, flushing slightly again at how well the other was handling this. Didn't the raven get flustered by anything at all? 

"Everything."

He received a smirk. "Including sex?"

Kouyou rolled his eyes with an exasperated laugh, strangely getting a bit more relaxed - Yuu was making it so easy to be. "I guess sex is covered under _everything._ You're a little single-minded, aren't you?"

Sitting up completely and swinging those sinful limbs on the edge of his bed, Yuu stood up and approached him, slowly pulling his eyeglasses off and placing it on the tabletop behind them, before he was wrapping his arms around Kouyou's neck, looking down at him with gentle eyes. 

"You're kind of strange, Takashima Kouyou." He whispered, his fingers playing with the damp strands of hair at the back of his neck. He exhaled a short breath through his nose, slowly lifting his own arms to embrace the other around his waist. "And you're kind of beautiful, Shiroyama Yuu." 

Burying his nose against a covered abdomen, he gave the other a nuzzle above all his layers of clothes, voice soft. 

_"My_ kind of beautiful." 

-

  


Yuu got his way eventually, which wasn't really surprising. Lying on his back with the raven on top of him, he groaned as he found his length buried deep within the other's wet warmth, his palms encompassing and gripping a slender waist, watching those lips, swollen from insisting he get fucked in the mouth, gasp for air. His hair was a dark mess on top of his head from being gripped too tight, and his eyes were clouded with lust, legs tightening on Kouyou's either side before the sensuous riding began.

"Kouyou..." 

His hips jerked upward reflexively at the pleading whine of his name, before he got a hold of himself and began burying his cock as deep as possible in tune with Yuu's every downward movement. Rubbing the other's hips with gasps of his own, he pounded into him but slowly, and Kouyou moaned as those muscles stretched around his cock even further with more of his every push and pull. 

"It's so good Kouyou, so good..."

The moans spilling out of Yuu's mouth sounded pained, but in the best way possible, body gyrating as he continued moving above with his palms flat on Kouyou's chest as a form of leverage to be able to ride better. At first his head had been thrown back, but now he had his gaze turned downward, eyes seeking Kouyou's through half-closed lids. 

"Keep fucking me like that, don't stop..." 

The raven had moved his hands to hold the ones on his waist, their movements growing faster and noisier the more desperate they became for release. The bed was creaking loudly, and above Kouyou's grunts and Yuu's keening, their panting breaths and the obscene squelching of flesh, the entire thing felt so lewdly sacred. 

"Yes, yes, _harder,_ just like that, just like - _yes, oh yes!"_

And Kouyou was so close - could feel himself leaking inside the tight channel gripping him like a vice, thrusts forceful now as Yuu fell apart above him, breaking into a fit of nonsensical murmurs and pleasured sounds that weren't quite moans nor whimpers but something else, something that made him want to fill the other up to the brim. 

"So good, _fuck please_ Kouyou it's- uuuhn- please, _please,_ I'm going to come, _I want to come Kouyou, uugh... huuh_..."

Exhaling shakily, he began slamming Yuu down, groaning with the effort of lifting the other up and fucking him against his cock wildly, unable to look away from the other's twisting face, now wet with tears. And it was everything he'd been wanting: _this, him, Yuu, everything, anything, please just love me-_

"Kouyou _yes, yes, YES!"_

They almost came together, but it wasn't until Yuu was releasing over his stomach and chest that Kouyou exploded himself, hips jerking inconsistently as he groaned with his orgasm, body shuddering with its intensity. Blinking his eyes open, he watched Yuu's blissed out expression fade, the other falling forward and on top of him with highpitched breaths, chest heaving. Wrapping his arms around the other's shoulders, he turned his head and nuzzled a tear-streaked cheek, smiling softly as Yuu spoke to him breathlessly while hiding on his neck. 

"I think I like you back a bit more than you think I do, too."

  


Beneath weary sinew and exhausted bones, something in Kouyou's chest started beating again. 


End file.
